What is the Church (through congregations) commanded to do? Preach/Teach the Word of God and administer the Sacraments? Of course! But there are many things churches/congregations do which go into that – more than simply Sunday services, Sunday school, Bible classes, and traditional pastoral acts like confession/absolution or visitation of the sick and dying.
Jesus said, “A new command I give you. Love one another.” Did you get that? It was our Lord’s command to His Church, that as members of the Church we are to love one another. His command. Sure, we are to love everyone; but members of a congregation, the “household of faith,” need to care for one another as God’s means of blessing each other much as members of a nuclear or even extended family know and care for each other beyond providing food, shelter, and clothing.
To do this, we must first know each other beyond merely recognizing faces. And this means that we must also know one another’s needs, concerns, trials, joys, and so on. To accomplish this, congregations need to intentionally connect members with one another and then train and enable them to serve one another in Christian love.
This begins with the called and commissioned ministers of the Gospel modeling this for the congregation just as parents model it for their children or as older siblings look after younger siblings in families. In the church, all younger “brothers and sisters and Christ” will eventually become the older siblings as the family ever grows from generation to generation. So we begin by seeing how the generation before us has done it and then we start to do it for the younger generation that comes after us. Again, this must be modeled first by the called staff, as “fathers and mothers” caring for those whose care is entrusted to them. They, in turn, will do so for others.
Too often, we consider many other activities as vital to the life of the congregation but which do not flow from the commands of Christ or even work against His command. We are to love and care for our children. Other things are beneficial and enjoyable, but if they do not flow from the love within a family there are merely activities or events which can happen in many places. For example, it’s nice to go on a vacation, but is taking a family vacation the loving thing which only families can provide? In the congregation, we are to preach and teach, to administer the sacraments, and to love one another. Any program or activity or event that does not flow from these has no command from the Lord and can probably be better done by the general community than by the church. And if by focusing on these other, not-commanded things, we fail to do what Christ has commanded, then we are probably doing more harm than good.
For example, we often think of providing wholesome and enjoyable activities for young people as something the church ought to do. My point is this: if doing so does not flow from the desire to love one another and with the guiding principle of love, then we truly have no command from Christ for camping trips or social events or the like. Even if our youth activities involve deep spiritual discussions or challenging growth in Biblical knowledge, apart from the love of God in Christ for our youth we are not doing them a service and may actually be harming their faith.
Of course, everyone will say that we do all these things out of loving concern for our youth, as this example goes. But consider the Biblical definition of love. See I Corinthians 13. Do we, in our youth activities, welcome all who come or are we only open to the “active” members? If not, we may be revealing jealousy, conceit, or boastfulness. Do we stop communicating with or inviting those who never participate or only come for the “fun” events? Then perhaps we’re keeping a record of wrongs. And if we keep offering only the types of events that leaders or the active participants enjoy, then are we truly being welcoming, valuing each person, and conveying love? If we are only interested in people with regard to church events and not in regard to other things that they are experiencing in their lives (social, family, school or even athletic events) then do we truly demonstrate love for them, as they are, or are we seeing them as numbers to legitimize our programming efforts? “Do you love me or do you love that I come to your event?” See the difference?
The same questions can apply to the women’s organization or even the choir! Yes, we have to draw lines on what things are appropriate and affordable and such; but what is it that we have been commanded to do? It is to love. And that means knowing all the youth, listen to all their ideas, considering all their circumstances (like where they live or their financial ability to participate). It means bearing all things, hoping all things, and enduring all things that make youth work difficult because they, as individuals loved by Christ, are worth it!
I remember one youth group that kept accounts of how many fundraisers each student participated in to determine how much they would be charged for trips or events. How is that loving to the students who need to work evenings and weekends? Not everyone is blessed with the same amount of free time. Farm families were particularly penalized since they lived further away and had evening chores for everyone in the family. Or what about the youth worker who communicated with the youth mostly through Facebook groups? If you don’t have a smart phone or home internet access (as many or even most did not in the early 2000’s, especially in rural areas), you didn’t find out about youth events. Do we keep trying to communicate with those who don’t sign up for our email newsletters? Once again, farm families were especially penalized in the 2000’s because it was harder to get decent internet access (maybe dial-up!) on the farm and when did they have time to spend on social apps?! What was a farm kid or working kid to do if they couldn’t sell things door to door or participate in the chat groups online? They would be excluded!
These examples are easily carried over into all aspects of church life. In my hometown, many parents worked swing shifts at the local 3M plant. Many people didn’t have a second car to drive the kids in for youth events. Jobs for kids and second jobs for parents were mostly evenings and weekends. Is it any different today? So how we communicate, when we offer activities or opportunities, how we treat those who were not the stand-out participants, and so on communicates volumes about our love for one another. One of the most important things my church did for youth (when I was growing up) was to arrange rides. But do we know the circumstances, challenges and limitations of our youth and do we take them into consideration? Do we care? Or are we really interested only in those who are there for every event and contribute most to the cause? How we answer and behave will demonstrate whether or not we truly know and love one another.
Another example is the women’s group that switched their meeting times from evenings to afternoons because more and more of the “old faithful” participants no longer would drive at night. Doesn’t that sound like the loving thing to do for the elderly? But then they would complain about how the younger women didn’t participate and although they tried to get younger women involved in certain activities, they just couldn’t get them to come. Perhaps it was because the younger women who had children at home or worked regularly were excluded from the planning meetings which took place only among those who were available in the afternoons. It smacked of being more concerned for what’s best for “us” than what’s best for those who need to be loved.
And don’t get me started on the code language we use which is only understood by those who are already involved! I, a pastor, may know what LCMS, LLL, LYF, NYG, LWML, WOM, SAGES, BOD, COP, CSL, CSP, and all the non-descriptive names for our groups and activities mean, but how can anyone feel included and invited that doesn’t know the code? You may know that JAM stands for “Jesus and Me,” but would you know that this is the children’s choir? You may be able to translate TSNT as “The Sunday Night Thing” which is the weekly youth gathering, but would you know that’s an open event for all 7th and 12th graders and that you’re invited? If the Sunday bulletins says that the “Little Lambs” meet in the “Green Room” how can someone who doesn’t know the code determine how to get their child to the right Sunday school class? In my first week at a new congregation I read that the widow’s group was meeting in “The Fireplace Room” at 1:00 on Monday afternoon. I checked the local business directory for some place called “The Fireplace Room” only to learn later that week that the church had a room with a working fireplace!
What’s the loving thing to do? It is to put ourselves in the place of others and consider how they might see things: not how we see things or how we would want them to see things, but how things must actually appear to them. It is to consider the weak, the uninformed, the left-out, the un-loved FIRST. Are they invited and included and welcomed and encouraged? Or are they left out, unconsidered, or down-right excluded by what we do and how we do it?
The love of God for us in Jesus Christ is what the Church has to offer which people can find no where else. They need to be able to find it from us or it isn’t love we showing but more of the same elitism that they find everywhere else. Instead, we are to show the world what they can NOT find anywhere else: it is love, which believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and never ends.